Being back in Salerno feels good. It's nice to get settled back in and feel at home. I feel like the Lord has been really trying to teach me about having a thankful heart. This summer, I went to a bible study where they had a praise box, where everyone puts their praises in from things that happened the week. I started thinking about what a great idea that was, and immediately noted the lack of praise in my life. Then later I met with someone about support, explaining how far away I was from my goal. I was super discouraged at the time. He asked me if I had been praising God for what he had brought in... umm, no. He quoted Phillipians 4:6,7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Now, I could recite this from memory. However, my version COMPLETELY left out "with thanksgiving." I was surprised when he said it! Then last week I received a devotional email and here's a quote from it:
"It seems that fear, anxiety, and worries dominate my thinking and thus the way I relate to the Lord. Am I alone in this? When these toxic emotions are allowed to rule my spirit, my prayers are reduced to grocery lists of the things I want the Lord to accomplish, and then I am frustrated when he does not hop to it and get them answered. The Lord has been showing me how to have an ongoing dialogue of thanksgiving in my heart as I walk through each day. It is changing the atmosphere in my soul."
So anyway, the Lord has done so much in my life and I am trying to more consciously think of these things more often than I think of things I am unhappy with and wanting to change. (Because I do thank God for things but it seems much more of my time is spent dwelling on things that are not done that I think should be.)
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