I know I have shared this with just about everyone that I've had a conversation in the last couple of weeks but I found this truth amazing. I got it from the book The Shack. It was talking about the difference between expectations and expectancy. That when we have expectations its really a form of legalism, and we put God in such a small box in the ways that He can show himself. We give Him rules to follow and then are consistently disappointed when He doesn't do what we want Him to do. But when we live constantly in expectancy, we do not limit God in what he can do. We just live expecting Him to show up but not sure how He will. And isn't that the most exciting thing, to not ourselves be God?! How boring would it be if God always answered our small, unbelieving, safe prayers? His ways are higher than ours and He can do so much more than we can even imagine.
I am getting rid of all of my stuff and moving to Salerno, Italy for at least a year. Though so many do this, I still sometimes think about how crazy this is. Jesus changed my life. I am so compelled to follow Him. I can't do anything else and be satisfied. Because I've gotten just a glimpse of God and I must search after Him. I'm so sick of the box I've put God in and I want so much to let Him out of it. For so many years I acted like I knew all the answers, and I acted like that because I believed it. A couple weeks ago when God did not do what I wanted Him to do, I came to the conclusion that I didn't know God at all. I have made God so small and been so mad and pouty when He hasn't done what I told Him to do. And I want to know who He really is!!! I want to always be in awe of Him and allow Him to show me new things.
I have hauled my stuff from about 4 different homes over the last 3 years. I always thought maybe I'd have a kitchen again, or a living room to decorate. I mean, everyone else I know got married and have homes, it seemed logical that I would have a job and need all this stuff. I finally realized a little while ago, that my life may never look like others I know and that it's time to quit hanging onto junk. It may seem like a small thing, but it's so symbolic to get rid of the old and move into the new. To let go of things here and really step out in faith and see how God's going to show up. I'm excited to find out! Let the journey begin.....
